Maybe...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESwbDLRwEY0

Last Song Syndrome... just let me share this with you.  I have heard this before but
it is only now that i understood its meaning.  Hope you will find value on this one,
when you find its implication to ur life.  I am not confirming with mine...either..
Anyways, just listen... it is a nice one..

MEANS TO AN END

               HAPPY ANNIVERSARY My Law Office...

               Cheers to my two-years of practice in the legal profession!!  Cheers!  Yes, It is my second year yesterday August 26,2012!!!     Two years filled with mind-boggling, nerve-wracking experience in court appearances,  with only me and my perspiration -clad body together with my trembling limbs that got almost devoured by the floor during the first few months...  hehehe.  
But in terms of social and outward presentation of my self, my superficial countenance is hard to read ...  I am  a bit good at masking my fears...I call it practicing the legal profession in fashion and style..

               Of course, I could not survive without real friends... My senior pals as well as Tata and Atty. Gaudenz Plaza were always there to lift me up when the AMOUR goes low...   Atty. Marticion and Dean Ty amazingly appears to aid and do miracles most often.  The court staff are understanding more than ever.  The judges are respectable as expected... Also, my partner, Atty. Gonzalez was with me since April 2012 and he has been a great friend and mentor.   I absorb as much as possible any available learning I could take and put them in my imaginary basket of wisdom.  Thanks for all my friends and family....my Couples for Christ household group headed by Janah Tapangan... thanks for making me sane...so far...

               Two years.. I said and I will decide to continue with my Law practice or not... Two years is my gauge if I would leave this field and enroll for Med School.  OMG I still wanted to be a doctor..it never left my system... am very undecided on this..

               In my two years,  it is difficult to gauge how far I had gone in terms of proficiency, competence to technicalities and procedure not to mention  oral prowess.   It is hard to say.  But I can just say  thou that today is easier than yesterday that is for sure. 

            What is constant for the record is that I only have a clean heart for this LEGAL PROFESSION...   So far, I am unable to soak into the traditional practice because my system dislikes it too much to even dip my finger into it.  All my  pleadings are painstakingly researched and it is all up to the handling Judge how he would appreciate it.  I am also eager how judges would apply the laws basing on MERITS...   I am still hopeful that the Canons of Judicial Ethics and the Models of Impartiality are still being practiced.    I do not have much to offer.    To build my connection with the court staff, God has to help me.   I am not from this place.  I am from Cebu... they just have to accommodate me like would a Good Samaritan.... However so far, I am surviving. 

          I just recently attended the PHILJA  Prejud. Program in Cebu to get 15 units in my San Beda Masters.. (LLM)... and my hopes to join the Judiciary was inspired once again.   It is my wish to join the much esteemed group when the ripe time comes.... My heart is ready but my experience still has to stretch for  years in order to properly prepare me for the BATTLE.
I know someday everything will be in place....

      I remember even J.K. Rowlings's Harry Potter was not the best wizard but he was full of courage... that is why we cast out our dimes to see that movie.  See,  I could be a heroine one day... with a judicial robe and a gavel... (fingers crossed)..

For now my guiding principles are:  "I shall not write for a day but for Reputation...  and never go to court unprepared.."
 
  Thankfully, after the 2 wk long Pre-judicature program, Mayor Amante hoisted his tendrils on me and appointed me as one of the Adjudication Board for the PLEB or Peoples Law Enforcement Board.    This is another challenge for me..  What a way to practice what I have learned in the Philja training!    God indeed works in mysterious ways...

Well, No party for my 2nd Yr. Anniversary.  No budget... I will just go to church to thank Him for giving me the privilege to practice this profession... Cheers...

Worrying: My tool for survival

There is a song that keeps repeating in my mind like a mantra.  I cannot exactly recall the lyrics but it is from the religious song. The repeated line has the message that My God will not stop what He has has started with Me...   Right now I am relying on that...

It  is not new to me that i have tons of things to know in litigation techniques etc.  But I am always disappointed with myself why I could not make it to work on weekends.  I brought case folders in my house and it never fails that these folders would never feel the warmth of my hands as promised.  There is always something that got in the way... Guests, children, family matters and all...Or I am just being lazy...?

I know what I want to be in 8 years.  I want to be a ehemm..(to be divulged later)  For sure it is grand.  I have so many things in mind and tried to tie myself to obligations that for me would bolster my career.  I do not know if I could get to the finish line in time..

My friend told me that I should stop worrying and stop charting my future and Let God do it...
That I should stop overthinking and  just halt.   Does this mean that I have to relax?   How relaxed should I get?  Is this good for me?

 She also told me that as a woman with 3 minors and one husband, (yep, 1, that is for emphasis.) my priority should be: first--God, second: People/Neighbors, Third: Family, Fourth: Career, Fifth, Self.  (Hope I remember the order clearly)  Based on the chronology, my LAW career should take the "Fourth" notch?

How could I sync this in to Equality of Men and Women Principle?  Is it not good for the children to see that their mother is working so hard to carve out a good name for the family?  Imagine if I will be "JUSTICE ----------"  Wow, this will be very awesome, I could already die after I am already sworn in to "justiceship" .... See, who will benefit in the end? Is it not my whole family and the whole community?  Should my career be instead placed to the second priority instead of 4th?

 Okay fine, I know that this entail opportunity cost and if it does, the question would be: is it all worth it?
That is the hitch... it definitely has its pros and cons.

You see, ever since elementary, I survived all the challenges in my life by being paranoid... That because I worry too much of failure and rejection,  I worked so hard and make things perfect.  This had been my life for __th years and I am used to it.  Only that now I am older, there are more stress factors coming in.  I guess I have to rely on Jesus to be there for me and finish what He has started for me.   I am still a rough stone today and I hope someday I can discover for myself that I am a diamond after all....


Well, this has been me, your worry-wart pal.  good nyt.

Floating mind

The one thing I hate about traveling abroad is the fact of leaving your office work behind in order to try very hard to enjoy your trip with others, and pretending that you actually enjoy it. And when the moment comes when you are enjoying already, you begin to hate the moment when you are starting to leave for home and you remember your job... This decreases the momentum in work. It is true believe me. I just arrived from Singapore last April 1, 2012 and I am still floating. I cannot get myself to work decently despite the heaping paper works.


I just learned Mark my partner already planning another trip in Japan for the next few months...Oh my gosh.. please... excuse me...

First Day as an Associate lawyer

April 2, 2012

Today marks the official day of me being an Associate lawyer.  I applied in a law office manned by an able and decent lawyer last third week of March.  I was not sure he would take me in his office because he still has an associate.  But I relayed to him my efforts to further my career: from going to Cebu twice a month last year from February to July, from single handedly manning my solo law practice and doing my research alone.  He painstakingly heard me out and after that he asked me if I really wanted to be a lawyer.  I gave him a big Yes Sir.  

   That same day he gave me out a draft and a re draft of Anti graft case.  I need to revise it.  But i told him I have to go over it yet because I still have a lot of deadlines to meet.  And then I will go to Singapore on my birthday. He said it was okay.

   Fast forward, Singapore trip was over. . . which reminds me that i have to make another blog for that trip...  April 2, 2012 is the first day of my associate lawyering... so to speak.. Atty. Gonzalez called me up over the phone at 7:30 am to tell me I have to attend the hearing at 2pm in Nasipit, ADN.  It was for motion for execution.   Anyway. it was easy of course because it was just ministerial for the court to grant the same after the lapse of the reglementary period and without any appeal coming from the other party. Atty. Janice Blanco appeared and made some comments which I did not bother to reply since the order granting our motion had already been dictated or promulgated by the court. 
That was it.  however,  hitch of this day is that I got the wrong road and went all the way to Gingoog.  It was a one hour  and a  consequent PHP300 fuel waste...  That happened because a lot of things were swimming in my mind at that time....

Anyway, that was enough for the first day...  Good luck to me...



  

When the Bar 2010 results came out, I was trying my way to go home via Cagayan de Oro City from Manila. I was in Manila for a business trip and I purposely left my laptop at home to shed off 2 kilos of luggage weight. So, for more or less 3 days I was cybernetically out of reach.

I was desperately waiting for the bar results to see if my best friend-future associate attorney could make it through. It usually takes 6 months for the Examiners to finish checking the test booklets and so all bar examinees have to undergo a sadist process of waiting and praying... assuming that they would actually pray...

As for me, although my slice of this ordeal was over when I made it in 2009 Bar, I also awaited in desperation the results as a puppy waits on milk.

So, from the CDO airport, we (I with my hubby)headed right away to Agora Bus station to catch the last Aircon bus. We hopped in 10 minutes before departure time and settled a little bit to contact a few friends over the phone.

Atty. Dennis, another friend who works in Manila, broke the news that only 3 from our School made it. My "manok" who we will call as "Shy"was not included among the bar passers.

It was the longest and saddest trip for me. So far. I tried to contact her but her line is off.
I tried to text her, and luckily she responded that she will be fine.

I could not get the words to tell her what I really felt. I was sad for her. Nah, I was devastated and I wanted to cry waterfall. I wanted to shout why?????

I prayed for her to pass. She deserves to pass. She is a brilliant student. I know she is ready. But why???

It is hard to comprehend this. However, I could not question the wisdom of the Examiners nor ask God what his purposes are....

My friend Shy had desperately tried her best to be a lawyer. It was our plan that if she makes it then we will work together as partners in my Law Office.

I told her God has a reason for everything. I said to her over the phone as if I was swallowing a chunk of ice...

But I always trust in God. I entrust Him everything in my life like I depended no one else but Him. For now, (regarding the sad news) the reason is still elusive but He is the God of Wisdom, the Alpha and the Omega... as much as I wanted to immediately know what happened there.... I have to surrender this case to Him.

Sacrifice

Since the Misa de Gallo started, my husband has been attending the same every day.
Thus he wakes up early at around 3 am and rushes to the church to attend the mass.
For several years now, he had completed the 16 daily masses before Christmas. We Catholics have a belief that if we can complete the same, any wish we make will be granted by God.
Last year, he completed also the Misa de Gallo and had his wish granted... his wish was that God would make me pass the bar.

I was not able to join him because i was and still am lazy to wake up that early. i cannot expect more from my body. i already lost my pituitary glad and after the operation, i have to take daily supplements for my thyroid hormones. This is just one of the reasons.

So the comment of my prayerful and devoted husband is that i never had a sacrifice for God.
Well, of course I objected. This fact has to be debated upon. And my God knows the deep reservoir of emotions i had kept inside. God knows my secret sacrifices and giant sacrifices in my life since childhood and i do not need to prove to anybody that i have one.

Sometimes i know i need to show more to my God that I need him.. But i Know that i need him and i cannot do anything without him.. Maybe I just have to tell him often that I do.. I really do.

Well, maybe I have to say it more often....